HOW TO START A FIGHT

Talk loud and fast. Interrupt the speaker.

Exaggerate. Say, “You always…..” or “You never…..” Be oppositional and contrary.

Blame the other person for everything. Don’t talk about your contribution to the problem.
Tell them what they think and feel or what they should think or feel.
Don’t talk about your own feelings.

Bring up lots of problems at once. Change the subject often.
Be vague. Don’t finish anything or solve anything.

Argue about who is right , smarter, knows more, etc. Bring up all their past mistakes.
Argue about when and how many times something happened (who remembers it right).
Document your being right by bringing in the other person’s family.
Put down the other person’s intelligence, personality, morals, etc.

Hold things in till you blow.
If angry about something else, take it out on the person.

Give them the silent treatment.
Control the situation. Tell them what to do or restrain them. Make threats.
Don’t let the other person back off. Follow them if they try to leave.

Bring up the past as accusations.
Bring up the kids and blame the partner. Bring up relatives.
Make threats to leave, divorce, have an affair.
Threaten to take the kids, the dog, the money.
Bring up sex and compare to past partners.

Break or threaten to break your partner’s belongings.
Glare, pout, slam doors. Call names, point fingers, curse, yell.
Lie. Distort the facts. Drink, drug, manipulate.


             -- These are things I can help you change --